The Sex Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, making love carries immense meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the chance to have sex with somebody find more info we are drawn in to extremely difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , resulting in effective feelings of destination, excitement, well-being, nearness, and love .

But when problems occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that many of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in cosmopolitan locations, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, many gay men desire to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North includes, "I believe official site this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we can't manage in additional info a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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