The Sensuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to incredibly difficult anonymous to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, well-being, and nearness .

However when problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that a number of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urban areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North includes, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a Clicking Here considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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